Feeling Unfulfilled In Your Relationship?
Do you feel like you’re not being seen or heard by your partner? After years together, have you become emotionally and physically distant and feel more like roommates than a couple? Has a breach of trust struck at the core of your relationship, leaving you uncertain where to go from here?
When you lose that special spark in your relationship, you can be in the same room together but feel completely alone. The more you withdraw from each other, the more time you spend forging separate paths and leading separate lives. You might be hard-pressed to remember the last time you went on a date, felt deeply connected, or, saddest of all, shared a loving embrace. You may wonder, can I count on my partner when I really need them?
Feeling Insecure In Your Relationship And Lacking A Deep Emotional Bond Might Be Negatively Affecting How You Communicate
Your typical conversations may be fraught with conflict and misunderstandings, leading to more arguments. You might forego communication altogether to avoid disagreements so nothing gets resolved and disconnection grows. As much as you long to feel secure and safe in your relationship, you might feel like you’ve become strangers or adversaries with nothing in common anymore except, perhaps, the kids.
In the absence of a close connection, one—or both—of you may have wandered outside your marriage seeking something you believed was missing, leading to infidelity. This breach of trust could lead you to question whether you are still in love with your partner or if you can repair the damage that’s been done. Without a partner to share your innermost fears, struggles, and feelings with, your relationship may be lonely and unsatisfying. If only you felt more deeply loved, appreciated, and heard, you could rebuild the trust and intimacy that’s been lost after drifting apart or suffering a betrayal. Fortunately, couples therapy offers a supportive space to come together and mend what has been broken.
All Couples Must Endure Life’s Uncertainties
Because marriage is a long-term commitment, we must struggle with the ups and downs of life together. Although our wedding vows often include some version of “For better or for worse,” sometimes that’s easier said than done. As much as we try to be there for each other through whatever challenges life throws at us, we often struggle to communicate effectively or express our needs clearly. Over time, we may unknowingly develop unhealthy patterns that lead to arguments, avoidance, and withdrawal.
After we move past the honeymoon phase, many of us struggle to prioritize our relationship amid all of our other obligations. Between demanding careers, busy schedules, and children, we are often exhausted by the end of the day and have little left to offer our spouses. When we add the distraction of technology into the mix, the conditions are ripe to take each other for granted. Soon enough, we become disconnected, absent, and lonely.
We Often Put Off Seeking Help From A Couples Therapist
Many of us have never had a good model of a healthy relationship, so we assume that being in a partnership means dealing with ongoing arguments, resentment, and unresolved conflicts. If our parents divorced, we may conclude that when we encounter problems, splitting up is an easier option than working through challenges.
For others, the stigma of marital counseling may prevent them from seeking help. Instead, they might Google how to fix a failing relationship or take advice from family and friends rather than look for a qualified couples counselor. However, most couples can benefit from the guidance and support of a compassionate and well-trained therapist. A short-term investment in couples therapy is worth the time, money, and energy for the long-term gains of a happier and healthier relationship and family.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Improve How You Communicate And Restore The Love That Binds You Together
In long-term relationships, it’s common to lose sight of the genuine closeness, connection, and intimacy that initially drew you together. If you have kids, you might have forgotten what your relationship used to look like before they entered the picture. With a commitment to couples counseling, you can learn how to develop stronger emotional bonds, untangle the destructive patterns of relating that have taken hold, and express yourselves more effectively and lovingly, thereby increasing deeper connections and intimacy.
As a professional marriage and couples counselor, I offer unbiased therapy infused with warmth, compassion, and wisdom. By establishing a neutral space to be open and vulnerable, I will help you feel heard, validated, and understood by each other. Within the safety of counseling sessions, you can develop greater empathy, intimacy, and connection.
What To Expect In Sessions
Initially, we will meet together for our first session, individually for the second and third appointments, and then resume joint sessions thereafter. Rest assured, in couples therapy, there is a “no secrets” policy. Transparency fosters trust. If one or both of you would like ongoing individual therapy outside of couples therapy, I am happy to refer you to another therapist to maintain an unbiased environment. Further, if you prefer faith-based counseling, I am happy to provide it.
Together, we will develop goals for couples therapy based on your needs. Sessions may include:
- Identifying core issues that contribute to conflict, disconnection, or a lack of intimacy;
- Repairing breaches in the relationship that may be caused by infidelity, betrayals, or addiction;
- Learning more effective ways to communicate about difficult issues;
- Building on strengths while working on weaknesses in the relationship;
- Developing better listening skills, empathy, and emotional regulation, especially during heated conversations;
- Developing deeper emotional bonds;
- Creating safety so that you each have confidence in bringing up hard topics without fearing retribution from the other partner.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples
Throughout a relationship, couples often establish unhealthy and sometimes destructive patterns of relating. I utilize Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a research-based approach based on attachment theory.  The focus of EFT marriage counseling is to form more secure emotional bonds, dismantle the unhealthy patterns that have developed, and establish more positive and expressive ways of relating to each other.
Rather than assign blame, EFT identifies why your current dynamic prevents you from connecting emotionally and sets out to correct it. Creating a secure bond—or “safe haven”—you can return to in times of conflict allows you to work through issues with patience and compassion, resulting in stronger relationships and improved communication. Even if you fear your relationship can’t withstand what’s gone before, with a commitment to couples counseling there is always hope for restoration and reconnection. You can emerge from therapy stronger and more deeply connected than ever before. Not only can your relationship simply survive, but it can thrive.
But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Couples Therapy Is Right For You…
You Can Reignite Your Spark
Allow couples therapy to serve as the catalyst to rediscover what you love about each other. To find out more about couples counseling with me, call 602-399-4699, or visit my contact page to schedule a free 15-minute call.
Hello my name is
Dr. Christine Bielinski.
What I love most about my work as a counselor, coach, speaker, and writer is that I get to be a catalyst for healing, positive change and growth. I count it a privilege to be invited into the lives of people just like you and help them reach goals they never dreamed were possible. Let’s work together now to create a joyful and fulfilling life that you love.